Archive of ‘Life’ category

Letting Go

By Natalie

The vet sat in front of us and assured us that we were making the right choice for our dog. “It sounds like you guys know him well and you know he’s not doing well.”

Bingley’s health began to quickly deteriorate after we found out that he had a tumor. It was difficult to accept that his time was coming but he was hardly eating anything. One night I begged him to eat something and I collapsed to the floor and hugged him. Felicity stopped what she was doing and came to me. “I’m sad because he’s very sick.” I told Lici.

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The Sound of Grief

By Natalie

It’s been a month since he’s been gone and it doesn’t feel real. The death of Bingley felt like a death of a part of myself. He passed peacefully at home, surrounded by his toys, his bone and Brandon and I. Because his passing was peaceful I felt ok. He wasn’t in pain anymore, we weren’t weighed by the decision of when it was time anymore, we were all going to be ok. But as the weeks drug on my mind began to shift and grieve, unfamiliar with how manage it my moods swung in a dozen different directions.

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Bringing Puerto Rico Home

By Natalie

My sisters and I visited Puerto Rico in February.

Revisiting the island with my sisters was a sweet experience. We found healing in the waters from our homeland and discovered pieces of our identities that we didn’t know were missing. I reconnected with my sweet cousin Lourdes. We fell into lots of silly moments with each other. Dancing in the streets in San Juan, practicing our synchronized swimming in the ocean and just general quirkiness. We spent our entire childhood apart so it seemed we were making up for it in a way. It’s absolutely wild to me that this part of me was here on this Earth, miles away, our relationship dormant until I reached for it. It’s never too late.

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An Open Letter to My Cousin

By Natalie

Zaul,

I thought I’d write this note to you at home and send you some snail mail but I couldn’t think of anything else on my flight home from Texas so I began writing this to you on the quiet plane. But then midway through writing I started tearing up and felt quite awkward crying on a plane so I had to pause, chug my water, blow my nose and pick it up later. I’ve since taken some time to process and I felt that this was definitely something that I wanted to share with you, and I felt it deserved to be an open letter because this space and audience has become a part of my journey.

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A House That Suits You

By Natalie

Brandon and I have owned two homes and lived in 6 different spaces together. I loved our time jumping around because during those years we prioritized what we couldn’t live without. We’ve had bathrooms that our friends called Narnia due to their large size and bathrooms that you could hardly turn around in. We grew accustomed to all sorts of different kitchens, washers & dryers, fridges, neighborhoods and storage spaces.

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On Mom Goals

By Natalie

Last year I had a few friends say “mom goals” to me referring to the craft themed advent calendar I created for Lici. I love hearing that I’ve inspired friends to be creative with their littles. However I’m also conflicted because I don’t want anyone to see what I’ve created and think that they’re not doing enough for their kiddos or they are not meeting some arbitrary mom goal. Creating these crafty kits for Lici is my love language to her as a creative. I find joy sharing my love for crafting, needlework and reading with her. It shouldn’t be every mama’s goal because not every mama is into those things. Other mamas have different interests and talents. They should mother the way that God created them to mother.

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An Almost Capsule Wardrobe

By Natalie

For the past few years I’ve done a version of the capsule wardrobe.

A capsule wardrobe consists of anywhere between 25-35 pieces. Typically excluding workout gear.

That doesn’t quite work for me. For one the weather fluctuates in Charlotte and I’m not ever sure if it’s going to be sweater weather in October or 80 degrees. I needed a little more flexibility in my wardrobe when it came to the number of pieces simply because I needed more layers and footwear available. I very well still be able to wear a nice pair of sandals in November after all, no need to exclude them. However I do like the general principles of the capsule wardrobe which are these.

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Closet Cleanse

By Natalie

One of my September goals was to go through all of our closets and cabinets. My plan was to declutter, donate any unwanted or unused items and sell anything we’ve outgrown.

Every year around Felicity’s birthday we go through her playroom and declutter. I had to start having her be a part of this ever since I gave away a seemingly unplayed with unicorn and she has asked for it ever since.

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Margins

By Natalie

Years ago Brandon and I heard a sermon on margin. Margin in a nutshell is leaving space and time in your life and schedule, to prevent overwhelm. Margin for us over the years has grown into more than leaving time in our schedule, it’s having margin in our finances for those in need and in our case space in our home as well. This margin we had created was exactly why we could say yes to inviting Zoe into our home. Margin is key so you have time to breathe, you’re on time and so you have enough energy left for your family. It has allowed us to say yes to people in need and it’s something we’ve always tried to incorporate in our lives. Since Felicity started kindergarten I’ve juggled, balanced, scheduled, whatever you want to call the way that I try to manage our lives all while keeping margin. Not having a 9-5 job means that I have the flexibility to do what I want with my schedule, yet I’ve been finding myself trying to fit a whole load of things into my schedule. I’ve realized that I need to sit and revisit my margin for this season of life.

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Tschüssi

By Natalie

Zoe. Our dear sweet Zoe. Confident, intelligent, thoughtful, driven, funny, honest, Zoe-oh. I miss you sitting on the floor. I miss you bringing me my refilled water bottle. I miss your laugh, our late night card games, the coffee you made me every morning. You standing in the early  morning glow of the kitchen, your German cooking, your truth, your hugs, everything about you I miss with an intense ache.

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