Last year I had a few friends say “mom goals” to me referring to the craft themed advent calendar I created for Lici. I love hearing that I’ve inspired friends to be creative with their littles. However I’m also conflicted because I don’t want anyone to see what I’ve created and think that they’re not doing enough for their kiddos or they are not meeting some arbitrary mom goal. Creating these crafty kits for Lici is my love language to her as a creative. I find joy sharing my love for crafting, needlework and reading with her. It shouldn’t be every mama’s goal because not every mama is into those things. Other mamas have different interests and talents. They should mother the way that God created them to mother.
I have friends who share their love for baking with their children and though I think it’d be great to teach Lici how to bake a macaroon, or do a perfect pirouette, (or even know another dancing term other than pirouette) I realize that those are not my strengths. I’m a subpar baker and a worse dancer.
We’re not meant to be the best at everything. I want to encourage anyone today who feels like they’re not doing enough for their kiddos, especially as the Christmas season presses closer. I’m not going to be the best at baking Christmas cookies with Lici. It’s just not something I’m excited to do. We may try a cookie kit, but they’ll definitely not be pretty! It’s time to reflect and create some reachable goals that bring you joy in motherhood. You should share things with your kiddos that inspire you and not things that you think you should be doing, I think that only results in unnecessary frustration and feelings of inadequacy.
As Felicity has gotten older she’s grown to love crafting together. She’s actually sitting next to me right now gluing away in her little scrapbook. Asking me if it looks pretty. I recently taught her to embroider after she saw me working on a project for a friend. I think our kids like sharing what we’re into. Or Felicity and I are just similar in artistry.
Motherhood is vastly different than the way I viewed it as a nanny. I’m more tired and more unsure that I’m doing things right to raise a good human. There’s much more personal reflection as a mother. What will she think of me when she grows up? Will she wish I did this differently? Have I done enough for her, with her? My relationship with my own mother comes to mind. What did I love about my mother and how do I emulate that? What did I wish I had more of? Will I fail her?
The emotional weight and decision making of motherhood is what sets things apart from being a nanny. We’re constantly rattling all of these things around in our heads. Which is why we don’t need to add any more feelings of inadequacy by comparing ourselves to other mothers!
We should embrace our mama friend’s many talents and use their drive to inspire our own. That’s what my mission here is for you. There’s some really simple little crafting hacks that I love sharing. It’s also one of my major goals with Lux Sensory. Creating curated little sensory kits for mamas who don’t know their way around a craft store. You don’t need to know your way around the craft store! I go plenty enough for the both of us!
When I asked a friend to come bake cookies with Lici a couple years ago, she taught Lici how to crack an egg in a bowl. Maybe your mom friend doesn’t even have a particular talent, you’re just amazed by her unending patience and optimism. How does she do it? When we are open and vulnerable with one another we’re free to ask without worry of friends thinking less of us. You might find that the optimistic mama has a morning routine you may want to try and adopt. Or maybe she’s just built that way and at the very least she’s peaceful and inspiring for you to be around. Maybe she helps you slow down. Let’s lift each other up this season and say no to comparison.