I’m not sure I would reccomend marrying young to just anyone. Because it’s definitely not for everyone. It’s not because I regret marrying at nineteen by any means, I just think that we are a rare commodity. I tell people I’m married and their eyebrows go up. “Oh Newlywed huh.” They’ll say. To which I respond. “Actually coming up on four years.” Then their eyes pop, and the jaws literally drop in disbelief. It’s pretty fun to watch. There are so many great benefits to marrying young. For us specifically it’s been an adventure. A bit of a financial roller coaster at first, in which Brandon was working freelance, and we were eating a whole lotta hot dogs for dinner. But then we just kept moving forward. And we’ve grown into responsible tax paying adults together. You see we hopped in the same car, and kept on the same track with the same goal. That’s the benefit to marrying young. To begin adulthood with similar expectations and share the same end goal, enjoying life all along the way.
But Brandon was not your average twenty-one year old guy. And I was no regular nineteen year old girl.
In addition to being madly in love with a man of God, this is why I was ready…
I can’t tell you that I had a bad childhood. Because I did learn how to ride a bike. Sort of… with training wheels. I can ride a bike about as well as I can swim. Which is not great. My dad gave me a grand total of like two lessons and I never quite mastered either of those. I did however manage to master climbing the overgrown holly tree in our backyard. I made mud pies by the deck when my mom wasn’t looking. Scarfed down my easy bake oven creations like they were the best dang brownies I’d ever tasted. I played teacher, and house and the occasional secretary. Who played secretary? Clipboards and all? I had big dreams.
So yes, I had a childhood. I remember it being whimsical and I remember it being fun. But once I hit about eighth grade, I had to learn to fend for myself. My sisters were working and my mom was working. They weren’t always around to be sure I finished all my homework, or ate my vegetables. Well… I shouldn’t pretend like I was all on my own. Nem definitely completed a few science fair projects for me, and Nadir definitely helped me get through some books I needed to write reports on. But once they moved out I was left making my own dinners and caring for myself until my mom got home late from work. Being raised in a single parent home leaves you fending for yourself a lot. This is in no way to say that my mom should have been there. Cause that’s just a whole other rabbit hole. My Dad should have been a better man and been there. Sometimes I wonder if I should write stuff like that and then I decided that I own my stories. I hope people understand that if you want to be spoken of highly, maybe you should treat people in a way to be spoken highly of. They shouldn’t have to tiptoe around your words or actions. You should have acted better. You should have thought about the weight of your words before you spoke them.
I’m not saying that my mother could have done better. I am who I am today because I had to figure things out for myself. I didn’t have parents to fall back on or mooch off of. I learned to make my own decisions. My own meals. Suffer the consequences of not completing my homework when no one made me do it the night before. Now I realize how many things must have been on my mother’s mind. She wasn’t worried about holding my hand while I finished my algebra. She was too busy figuring out how to put food on the table and pay rent. She trusted me to be her helper and fend for myself in the areas I was capable. I can’t wait to have my own children and be faced with the challenges she was able to face alone. How much stronger will she seem to me then when I have Brandon by my side?
If you don’t believe in prayer you haven’t met my family. You haven’t met my sisters, and our husbands that my mom prayed for since we were small. That we would love, and care for husbands who were good men, ones who sought satisfaction in their own wives, and never needed to look any further. It’s amazing to think that my mom prayed for Brandon before I could make logical decisions. Do you realize the importance of that? As a product of her prayer I can tell you I’m eternally grateful. Thanks mom. It worked.