Waiting

I went through my drafts recently and found some decent pieces that I never posted! I found this sweet post that I didn’t publish because I went into labor soon after. Loved rereading this with a smile on my face thinking about how quickly the time flew. This morning I watched that little girl put her big backpack on and walk into school.

Throwback to Five years ago…

40 Weeks. 2 Days. Only two days overdue and no matter how many times I’m told that the 30th was just a guess date and it could be weeks until I go into labor I’m still extremely impatient. I’m curious to see how long she hangs in. And I really mean hangs in because she is low and I’m running out of shirts to wear that my belly doesn’t hang out of. Although frankly I don’t much care because it’s 95° out and I’ve never been so uncomfortable in all my life. I feel a tinge of guilt. Man I want to be able to say she’s cozy where she is and it’s a blessing to be able to carry her all this time and however long she wants to be in there is all in God’s time you know, all that sweet stuff. But I can’t can’t lie. I can’t keep myself from stretching out, patting her bottom and fussing at her to get out get out get out. Brandon has been a little sweeter. Softly coaxing her with promises to hold her close and shower her with kisses.

Mom and I went for a walk around the mall the other day and a sweet old man said “You’re getting to that uncomfortable stage now aren’t you?”

I nodded. I bet he’s seen many a pregnancies in his day. He wished me blessings and I waddled on my way. Every pregnancy is different and I suppose we all handle them differently too.

I’m praying for peace cause I’m cranky. I’m hot, I’m weepy, I’m easily irritated and poor Brandon and my mom are getting caught in the crossfire as they watch me like a tea kettle ready to whistle.

I love this girl and I want to meet her. It feels like forever that I’ve been hoping, praying, and imagining her. I want to fall into our new normal and frankly I want to stop listening to my own complaining. When we were trying to get pregnant I would have thought some awful things about someone who was talking the way I am now. I want to be grateful for this time and trust that baby girl will come on her birthday and that’s that.

Our induction is scheduled around 42 weeks and we have an ultrasound scheduled to check on her July 11th. Of course she could always come on her own sooner. Let’s all cross our fingers for that.