To My Sisters

By Natalie

imageIt’s been six months since we’ve built a new life for ourselves in NC, and I have to admit that I’m a tad surprised this post wasn’t written sooner. These months that we’ve spent apart have begun to stretch my relationship with my sisters.

Lately… I’ve been thinking about them. Wanting to call, with no particular thing in mind to talk about. I’ve been feeling the definite absence of them. Yep, I downright miss those girls.

I spoke to my middle sister just days ago, for one quick thing. She answered the question I had for her, and promptly said she’d talk to me later. A sudden bleakness swept over me. “That’s it?” I thought. I checked the clock, who told me it was only 10am. Nadir was in the middle of her workday. Our conversation ended there, left out on the line, to be picked up another day. The phone calls, the texts, they’re too short, too little, how will they ever be enough?

Isn’t it interesting how I have a single friendship with Nadir in which we discuss our love for the elizabethan era, books, crafts, and how we can better support our other sister. And I have a completely different friendship with Nem in which we often discuss recent events, marriage, work, and our new niece arriving in May. I’d imagine that they too must have a similar friendship with each other that I know nothing about. I wonder what that must be like. Then there’s the bond the three of us share when we’re all together. Where all of our similarities mesh, and the pieces of one heart are expressed through three different personalities.

The fact that you’re stuck with your sisters is what makes them such wonderful friends. Whenever they annoy you, you’re forced to figure it out. Much like a marriage, only with more moodswings. If you’re lucky enough to have two, you’ll often find that the other sister takes up her duty as middle man. Always there to bring you each to your senses.

“Sure Natalie.” They’ll each say. “She’s just being herself, you know how she is when she’s tired, hungry, upset, annoyed, hurt… and fill in the blank”.. And it’s true. I do know how they are in all of those scenerios. Because I’ve been looking up to them since I was small. I know how they act, and react. I know what they look like when they don’t do their hair in the morning. I know that Nadir has always been ready to be the mother she is becoming, and that Nem falls asleep easiest on the couch with a blanket. It’s a beautiful gift, to know someone so closely.

I’ve been writing some open letters lately. It’s my way of being certain that the one’s I love know they are not forgotten. It seemed necessary to write one for them.

To you both,

The relationships we have with one another are the most complex relationships I think we’ll ever have. Our pasts have been intertwined. Our presents separated, and who knows what our futures will entail. But the three of us, we’re made up of the same things.

When we had no else, we had eachother. And of course the occasional Dairy Queen blizzard to make things better.

Thank you for helping me down the slides, literal playground slides, and figurative life slides. For all those special years we had together, as I’m sure we can all admit living with a guy just is not the same. For protecting me as if I were your own little cub to care for. For aggreeing with me when I need someone on my side, and for hitting me with the truth when I’m blinded. For guiding me, and encouraging me. For teaching me, and being proud of me.

With love and longing,

Your baby sister


The Boys, & Their Nanny

By Natalie

There are three little words that hit me with an irresistable desire to satisfy. “Natalie, get me.” After hearing those words for the first time I checked over my shoulder and saw Caleb’s face lit up with the widest smile, his knees bent in preparation to be chased.

With much amusement I started toward him, and from there it was all out mayhem. Caleb’s surprise sent him careening around the corner expelling all sorts of excited shrieks. We went on like this for a few go arounds when I decided to turn back and surprise him in the opposite direction. “BOO!” I shouted. And before he could make a run for it I scooped him up and tossed him onto the couch, pillows falling behind him as he rolled and squirmed his way off.

Then… those words again. “Natalie, get me!”

Because for a child, catching them once, or twice, or seven to twenty times is simply never enough.

So we continued for a while, running around the house. Me chasing Caleb, three year old Ryder chasing me, and baby Grant on his play mat observing the whole spectacle. After a few more circles around the kitchen and living room, Caleb would get tossed on one couch, I’d turn to grab Ryder, toss him into a bed of pillows, and then make a run for it so they could chase me. Very quickly after this day I learned to never wear socks when two little boys are chasing you. I took a sharp left turn from the entryway into the living room, and there my balance failed me. I laid there on the floor clutching my leg which later produced a baseball sized bruise. Since when do I bruise like that?

My agony was quickly forgotten when two bubbly boys ran over to my rescue. “Oh wait,” I realized. They’re boys. They ran over not to help me up, but to climb all over me, and laugh hysterically at my fall as if I had put on the greatest show for them. And you know… they made that embarassing tumble all the better.

This happened almost three months ago. Three months and I still remember how sweet it was. In that short amount of time baby Grant has started eating solids, preparing himself to crawl, and growing too much week by week.

I’ve developed these three little emotional attachments that I think about when it’s quiet at home.. All weekend, when it seems like forever since I’ve seen them.. And pretty much whenever somone talks to me about children. These three attachments.. they’re the little boys I nanny. Most days I’m left with sidewalk chalk on my boots, and mashed peas on my pants. I come home telling B stories about my new favorite book to read Eggbert the Slightly Cracked Egg, who travels the world painting famous cracked things like the liberty bell, and volcanos and such.

Last week my lunch buddy was making silly faces at me with his peanut butter and honey sandwich. Today, I played peek-a-boo for I don’t even know how long, because baby giggles make time stand still. Baby hands reaching out for your face melt your heart. They make it way too hard to ever stop.

This job… It’s packed with the sweetest moments I’ve ever been a part of.

An Open Letter

By Natalie

Today, I’m just going to have to say what’s on my heart.

An open letter to the woman who’s generousity healed a heart.

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Brandi,

Every day I look at Bingley I’m reminded of your compassion. How I want to be a woman who can be that compassionate. To willingly gift something just to cheer someone up.

Bingley is currently sleeping behind me, snoring, stretching out his paw every now and then pressing into my back. He is crazy. He is clingly. He tracks so much water from his bowl. He leaves hair all over the place!!! He pulls his crate mat out of his crate and drags it all over the house, and leaves fluff and thread all over the carpet as he thrashes it around. He jumps into the shower if you leave the bathroom door open because he loves baths! He woofs next to the bed when I want to sleep in, and then when I open my eyes he barks as if I’m unaware that he hasn’t been fed. He gets cranky when we stick our feet under him under the blankets. He is a pillow thief! On the bed, and the couch. He is a 75 lb wild animal in our house.

But Brandi,

He sits for his food, and waits for a command to eat it. He’s great around kids. He’s great with other dogs. He’s protective, and sweet. He loves to cuddle and give kisses. He was there when I received a second subpoena for court. He laid next to me while I had the paper in my hand. Full of anxiety, and fear, and dread.

It’s been a long long road but I think I’m getting there. Getting to the point where I’m not going to allow myself to worry about losing him just yet. There was a moment only a few months ago when our mutual friend Chloe brought me to the pet store. Bingley could pull an 18 wheeler on the harness we had for him, and she urged me to try some different ones. First we tried a gentle leader which immediatey sent fear straight to the pit of my stomach. “This thing is only attached to his muzzle, and neck! No way man, I have no control over him.” Was my only thought. So we tried a different one that sat low on his front legs. With every step I swore I’d see him slip it any second. Other customers walked by with their dogs and my body tightened. Lastly she fit him with a prong collar, loosely resting on his neck until he pulled. This one was working. He walked next to me. He listened to my commands.

Chloe pressed me for my thoughts on the collar but my words were choking my throat. She attempted to reassure me that though it may appear to be menacing, he was perfectly fine. But my mind was somewhere else.

“Natalie what is it?” She said. Then I looked up at her with tears pooling in my eyes.

“You can say it Natalie.” She continued. And then, with a year’s worth of build up I broke. I confessed how terrified I was of losing him. How terrified I was of getting a harness that wouldn’t hold him, or that he would get loose from. And that once again it’d be on me. It would be my fault that he got loose, and I don’t want to live through those consequesnces again. The truth was, this collar was the first one that I’d felt comfortable walking him in. I realized I could finally let go.

As always, thank you for providing me with the chance to face my fears. And while doing so being in the constant companionship of this sweet dog. You’ve made us family.

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Natalie

On Being an Introvert

By Natalie

imageThe more time I spend in Charlotte the more I discover a little bit more about myself. Which is really what we were hoping for with this move. We’ve entered into a week of rainy days, and cloud cover around here and I can’t help but confess that I sort of love it. While mud puddles, and cold, wet feet are absolutely no fun the cold gloom gives me this sense of coziness. I, my good friends, am an introvert. If I could have my way when greeting you for the first time it’d go a little somehing like this…

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You see, I am fond of books, and Netflix binges, and fuzzy socks, and my couch with cozy pilows and blankets. I am fond of keeping my home, my personal space tidy, and inviting. I am fond of my craft room where I’m able to put my creativity to practical use. On a rainy day I want to snuggle up at home. On sunny days I want to go on dog walks in the park, and out for coffee on my own.

imageIt’s who I am, it’s why I’m best understood through writing, and I think I’m ready to stop being ashamed of it, and help others understand their fellow introverts. I’m not lonely, I’m not bored, I’m simply recharging when I wish to stay in.

imageKnow that if you have an introverted friend they are not always going to want to make an event of things, or be around a ton of people. Especially people they’ve never met. But if you have an introverted friend you must be extra special, because if they have deemed you worthy of their time you must be pretty rad.

Now that you have a better understanding of how I happen to be wired here’s some Introvert myths I’m ready to bust.

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I wanted to say “Oh yes Myth 1, and 6, and 10 are all so true.” But really they’re all right on, and you’d do well to take our word for it. Thanks for listening friends, I’ll step off my soap box, put my jammies on, and make myself some hot cocoa now. Cause that’s what I do.

This Introvert is done for the day.

DIY: Layer Candle

By Natalie

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Here’s what you’ll need…

  • Glass JarPreferably with a wide mouth
  • WicksFound in craft stores
  • 7-8Depending on the jar size used candles from the same scent family
  • Tongs
  • Pot
  • Pot holders

I’m a big fan of candlelight, so I needed to find a way to use up every drop of my candles. Candles typically blow out with about 1/2 an inch of wax left over. When this happens stow your candles away together to be made into a new layer candle. This project is fairly easy, but keep in mind it can be time consuming to do all at once.

I used 8 left over candles in a wide mouth, pint sized mason jar. Be sure to only layer scents in the same scent family. i.e keep fresh linen with sea breeze, and hazelnut with sugar cookies. My candle was a vanilla, pumpkin, apple pie, lemon, sweet scented combo.

imageThe trickiest part of creating this candle is getting the wicks to stay in place. I’ve tried hot glue before, adhesive, and nothing seemed to work. Your best bet is to place 2 wicks in the center of the jar. In the case of one sliding off to the side you’ll have another to even it out. I’d recommend placing the wicks in the center of the jar, and pouring your first candle’s wax in, allow it time to harden, and then continue. I placed little skewers on the jar to try and keep the wicks from falling.

image To melt down the wax boil a pot of water and set your candle inside being careful that no water enters the candle. The thicker the jar the longer it’ll take. Swirling it around often with tongs will help to distribute the heat, and melt the wax faster.

image  imageOnce the wax has fully melted pour it into your jar and allow it time to harden. You could place it in the fridge in between pours to let it cool. Continue doing so until you have melted down, and poured all of your candles.

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Originally I started with 6 candles, and they did not quite fill the mason jar I had. I decided not to cut the wicks and wait until 2 more candles were finished off. I had one candle that was almost out, and all the wax was liquified. That’s when I realized a shortcut. I grabbed the unfinished layer candle and went ahead and poured the wax in.

Essentially you could skip the time consuming boiling pot of water step, and whenever your candles are about to go out, and are completely liquified pour them into a prepared jar. It’s much quicker, and easier that way.

Look at all those pretty layers. Cut the wicks and enjoy your new candle!

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And a Happy New Year

By Natalie

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Forgive me, we’ve been on Christmas vacation..

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I wish I could describe to you the emotions I felt during our stay in Fredericksburg. But there were so many different feelings with so many different people that I’m still trying to wrap my own head around it. I would hope that maybe this Christmas you experienced the same sort of thing as you begin to witness your families growing larger and larger over time.

There were so many conversations I cherished, so many smiles I’ll miss. So many moments that will be hard to forget from the Poe family’s quick wit, to my sister and brother in law tearing up while opening presents for their still growing baby girl.

Christmas was as expected, Christmas. Full of family, presents, and a whole lot of calories. It came and it went just before my eyes.. Sending all of us in different directions to carry on with our lives, and it left me sitting here on my own hundreds of miles away from the family I laughed so much with. How that happened so quickly I hardly know. I keep thinking back wondering if I thanked that person enough for that thoughtful gift. If I should have just gone ahead and eaten that extra cookie that’s only around this time of year. If I told everyone I cared about them enough, and that it was wonderful to see them. Just in case, I’m saying it now.

As the new year quickly approaches I’m happy to say that I’ll still be finding myself, which I’d like to believe  never really ends. I promise myself to continue my writing because it’s the one thing that has comforted me in hurt, helped me to see the good in the bad, and most importantly to view life through the window of the small things. Those sweet little moments that remind you of why you’re here, and what a good life this is to live. Moments like noticing my sister in a frenzy before Christmas dinner, and needing to stop her, hug her, and tell her we’re not going to starve. That it’s ok to slow down. Because the small things aren’t found in a blur. That’s the beauty of them. You have to slow down to notice them. Even more precious moments like hearing my nephew call out “Aunt Natalie” while I hide behind a curtain playing hide and seek. Let’s not talk about Bingley sniffing around for me pulling back the curtain to reveal my spot. That dog.

If you haven’t started already I’d strongly encourage you to slow down in 2015 in order to be on the lookout. Find those moments, and when you do, snag them up and hold them as closely as possible so not to lose sight of their meaning. I’ll be here doing the same. Filling this blog up with all the ones I find.

That is what makes up a happy new year. Spread the word.

Don’t forget to get your nap in before midnight.

Cheers.

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Christmas in the City

By Natalie

imageBrandon and I began our day in the 7th street public market in hopes that two equisitely made lattes would scare away our sleepy eyes. Much to my excitement we found that the streets of Uptown Charlotte had been hit by the Christmas bug.

This weather is not convincing me that Christmas is around the corner. The mornings are just a bit chilly, covering car windshields with the slightest layer of frost. But by the time the sun really wakes up the frost melts, and it hits the upper 50s by lunchtime… Thankfully it’s at least starting to look and sound like Christmas around these parts, even though the weather insists on being warm.

There’s nerd nutcrackers, gingerbread houses to model Charlotte shops, toy soldiers, giant presents in the park. And on top of all that you can find musicians every few blocks. I had a bundle of ones in my wallet so I decided to share it with an elderly man who was puffing beautiful Christmas music into his trumpet. I dropped the money in his jar, and with his lips still pressed to the mouthpiece he smiled at me, and gave me a thumbs up. His sound carried for blocks, putting everyone in the best sort of spirit, to be reminded that Christmas is just around the corner.

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imageWe had some time to kill Sunday afternoon so Brandon and I were pushed onto the city streets. It was the best kind of afternoon. The kind that provides perfect sweater weather, and emits love into the air. Sometimes I forget just how nice it is to walk with my husband hand in hand. It’s the sweetest thing on earth.

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As much as I am in love with the skyscrapers I have to say they are no match for the city’s Christmas tree.

Don’t you just love these extra tall Christmas trees that stop the people in the streets to gaze in wonder? It’s no Rockefeller center, but it’s in our neck of the woods, and it’s perfect.

imageAnd big giant ornaments littered along the way to match. How grand is that?

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imageMerry Christmas everybody. Here’s some happy reindeer to put all of you Scrooges in the mood. They’re happy, I can just tell.

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DIY: Fabric Scrap Light Garland

By Natalie

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Here’s what you’ll need:

  • Christmas Light StrandI used a white strand
  • Rotary Cutter or Fabric Scissors
  • Fabric Scraps

This is probably one of the easiest DIY projects I’ve ever done. I had an extra strand of christmas lights sitting around so I decided to put together a garland on a whim. Sift through your scrap fabrics, or grab a few squares of fabric from the craft store. I’ve been experimenting with mixing textiles so I chose to go with  flannel, cotton, and lace fabrics.

Slice up the fabric of your choosing into about 1in strips. Some of mine came out skinnier than that, some wider. That’s the beauty of this project, it still turns out great! My strips were different widths, and lengths.

A rotary cuttter is the easiest way to cut your fabric for this project. I used this Fiscars set.

imageAfter you’ve cut as many strips you think you’ll need start tying your fabric around the light strand in a single knot. I did three strips in between each light, which seemed to flll the space well. This is the time consuming part.

imageYou’ll end up with this heap of cozy lit fabric. Place on a mantle, stair well, entryway, or wherever needs to be decorated! I placed ours in the kitchen which mirrors our tree in the living room.

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image Happy Crafting!

It is Good

By Natalie

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Today seemed as good a day as any to talk about Thanksgiving because I’ve been pretty thankful these past few months. I sat in the car on the way back from the park with the kiddos this morning, and when I looked in the rear view mirror I saw a happy napping kid. Result of a good day, and a good life.

Charlotte is good. Charlotte is home, but it’s still alot of fun to visit the town we grew up in. Reminicsing on places that hold so many memories.

Our Thanksgiving was full of yummy Puerto Rican food goodness, and I savored every bite.

It’s not often that I get the pleasure of enjoying my aunt’s spectacular Flan. image So I had 2 pieces. Ok 3. OK 4 by the end of the day if you’re keeping track! But this stuff is good. Worth the calories, and caramelized sugar coma good. Worth the 6 hour drive good.

Let’s talk about cousins here for a second shall we? They’re the bomb diggity. A pal to run around and play with throughout your childhood, and out of your hair in the evening time so you don’t want to rip each other’s hair out. When I was like 3 or 4 my cousin Emmanuel would yell for me in the back yard. We used to be neighbors, and thus you’d find the two of us chasing eachother through our twice as wide backyard. I would be eating dinner at the table no big deal, and then I’d hear him through the kitchen window.. “Natalie!!!” And I’d immediately look at my mom, “Can I go outside?” There’s video proof. It’s adorable.

He’s the greatest. Ladies, he’s available. And pretty dang photogenic right? That’s a good quality in a man. Just saying.

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imageIt is crazy to me that out of nowhere we have this next generation of kids. Running through the legs of the adults preparing the big meal, and screaming laughing their little hearts out. They’re precious, and I’m super thankful for them because not only are they blessings to our family, but they’ve promoted Emmanuel and I to the adult table. If I could high five him now I would because we’ve been at that table into our 20s. It was time.

When we’re nicely dressed and around family, I have it in my mind that Brandon and I will get a nice photo taken. Boy am I always dead wrong. The struggle began with the nicely dressed. Brandon was ready to go in his nerd tshirt which reads Analytics.js is my favorite wrapper. Don’t ask me, it’s a development thing.

I persuaded him to wear one of his favorite flannels for the occassion, so we could get a nice picture. But Brandon doesn’t like posed pictures. He had different ideas. image

imageSo here’s our Thanksgiving photo. 2014 is to be remembered as when we were young and head over heels for eachother.

And to take us out, a shot with baby Lawrence. My beautiful sister is carrying this sweet little bundle of joy, and you can see the happiness all over her face. It makes me giddy. I’m gonna be an aunt x5 pretty soon here guys. It is good.image

This November

By Natalie

Well it’s November. In my mind that calls for a few really good cups of apple cider and caramel. One really bad change of weather head cold. Mittens and scarves, and a few loaves of homemade Pumpkin Bread for good measure. I’ve been abiding by all of these lately including the rather unfortunate cold. I’ve survived it ladies and gentleman, and have returned to tell you the tale. There was a whole lot of coughing, and sniffling. Tea, tissues, Nyquil and I even broke out the snuggie while resting up with some classics on Netflix. That was this past week in a nutshell. Me sadly making my own chicken soup, realizing I’d long past the age and independence where my mother would make it for me. What a sad day that was. She makes the best chicken soup. But I’m on to her, she adds an extra pinch of love I think. Here’s the Chicken Soup Recipe.

Back to being ill. I was a mess.

I’m telling you, if you can find someone who loves you through the crusty nose, fatigue, and vicks vapor rub on your chest you’ve got it all. You don’t vow in sickness and in health for nothing. Because I’d argue that when you’re sick, you come closest to the truest version of yourself. Trading stye for comfort, loving for needy, and daily tasks for extra sleep. That’s why it’s so important to have a companion who’s aware of the real you. Because no matter how independant we try to act it’s nice to be taken care of every now and then.

Do you want to know a secret? I’m feeling better now, and I’m sort of bummed out because B has been learning through every sickness how to better care for me. He’s been by my side just to keep me company. Reminding me to laugh at my severe congestion, and succumbing to most all of my silly requests. So yes, I’m going to miss it. Not only was it the extra hubby care but the snuggles with a pup who knows I’m not feeling well, and the ‘Woe is me’ on the couch talk that got me whatever I wanted. During this month of thanks I’m grateful for my health now, but even more grateful for a husband who’s there when I need him most.

As for my plans for the rest of the month I’ll be loading up on my chewable vitamin C, because as much fun as it is to cuddle with the kiddos at work while I’m sick it’s even better to run around and play when I’m well.

B and I will be traveling to Fredericksburg to see the fam for Thanksgiving. We’re signed up for green salad, and pumpkin bread this year, because I make a mean pumpkin bread. In fact, I’ll even share my recipe with you…

Homemade Pumpkin Bread

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Ingredients:

  • 1 can (15oz) Pumpkin Puree
  • 4 Eggs
  • 1 cup Vegetable Oil
  • 2/3 cup Water
  • 2 3/4 cups White Sugar
  • 3 1/2 cups All Purpose Flour
  • 2 tsp Baking Soda
  • 1 1/2 tsp Salt
  • 1 tsp Ground Cinnamon
  • 1 tsp Ground Nutmeg
  • 1 tsp Ground Allspice
  • 1/4 tsp Ground Ginger
  • Glaze (Optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour three 7x3in loaf pans.
  2. In a large bowl mix pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water and sugar until well blended. In a separate bowl whisk flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and ginger. Stir dry ingredients into pumpkin mixture until blended. Pour into loaf pans.
  3. Bake for 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaves are done when toothpick comes out clean.

In years past I’ve made this pumpkin bread as more of a dessert item adding a sugary  glaze to the top of the loaf. Either way turns out delicious! Enjoy!

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