“I’ll take them.” I said without hesitation. What had come over me? When my friend Jamie mentioned that her girls weren’t crazy about their new preschool and wasn’t sure what to do, I spoke up. “I’ll take them.” I said. Knowing I could do it, I wanted to do it, and was pretty sure that I should do it. Jamie asked if I was serious. I nodded. “Let me know how they do in school the next couple of weeks.” I told her as she was still unsure if they needed time to adjust.
After a couple weeks went by Brandon and I sat at the fountain in our nearby shopping center on date night. “It feels right to do it.” I told him. Felicity is in preschool 4 mornings a week. Charley and Willow could come over one morning a week to give Jamie some kid free time while her oldest was at co-op. I wanted to play with Charley, I wanted our home still filled with little girl giggles and 1 year old snuggles.
Later that night I texted Jamie, if your gut is still telling you to pull the girls, just know that I’m feeling the call and would love to have them. She texted me right back that she was so glad to hear that because she had just pulled them from the school.
The next week Charley ran up my driveway yelling “Natalie!” I knelt down to greet her with a big hug. Willow walked up the driveway all smiles. I hung their back packs on the hooks by our back door. I took a moment to capture that sight in my memory. I felt quite blessed to be able to care for these sweet girls. We play, we go outside, we have storytime and eat lunch together with Brandon. They get quite excited when they see Brandon come downstairs because he always picks them up to do the tic tock clock. Willow will run up to him and sway, so as to ask, “could you make me a clock?” He picks her up and sways her side to side so her legs swing left to right like a grandfather clock. Tic Tock.
My nanny nature has reappeared in preparation for these sweet girls and I don’t know how else to describe it except that it feels right. A morning a week with Charley and Willow, talking through early adulthood with Ana, parenting our high schooler Zoe. I had no idea this was where I’d be. I recently read this old blog post that made me just a little sad. Ana pointed out this line from the post.
Suddenly I want lots of children… But maybe our hearts should always be open to more children whether they are ours or not.
I thought soon after my squishy baby was born that I’d be able to have lots of squishy babies. I wasn’t blessed with that reality but I still feel like we’re following the right path. Somewhere deep down I knew that more children would grace our home. They’re not all biologically mine but I love them dearly all the same.
Last week I snuggled next to Charley, looking up at Felicity’s galaxy light. We talked about the stars and moving colors. I pulled Willow up after changing her diaper and gave her a squeeze and a kiss on her pillowy cheek. Zoe came home from school and went straight to baking gingerbread cookies. She told us about her day and let us all press a cookie out with the cookie cutter. Lici squeezed my side tight as I read her a book in Spanish one night at bedtime. “You’re the best mama in the whole world.” she said. I stayed up much too late with Ana hearing all about the changes going on in her life. My heart feels happy these days and I don’t want to miss it. During this season of thankfulness I want to thank these 3 mothers who have graciously trusted me with caring for their beautiful daughters ♥ in doing so they have blessed me immensely.