Remember when we were kids? Remember when not everything was about expectations? Remember when being in each other’s presence was enough to put a smile on each other’s face. Remember when?
Promises to Myself
By Natalie
By Natalie
Remember when we were kids? Remember when not everything was about expectations? Remember when being in each other’s presence was enough to put a smile on each other’s face. Remember when?
By Natalie
I have never seen such blue waters before as in these two beautiful places. These are the places that I wish to revisit some day with my journal and coffee in hand. These quaint places are the ones that spark inspiration in me. They are places that I can completely unwind and take in… everything. From the sunlight that warmed my skin. To the lap of the water, and children playing with sheer excitement in their voices.
I did alot of thinking in Monterey. Our stop was short here, simply stopping for lunch and B figured we should stretch our legs and enjoy the scenery while we were stopped. We walked the trail near the water and cozied ourselves on a lonely bench.
I could have sat on that bench for hours. I could have walked there in the early morning, sat down, closed my eyes and not left until the stars came out. Monterey, you were a dream. A whimsical dream, of calm waters, and blue skies. Sunshine… Quaintness… Happiness… and fresh sushi of course.
I could spend the rest of my days here and never complain. I could feel refreshed. And hey, with all that sunshine and no humidity to rain on the parade you would probably see a smile on my face every day. Brandon, we may be young, but perhaps it’s never too soon to start discussing locations for retirement.
By Natalie
This has been a week full of dreamy lovey posts, I know. I’m sorry, but remember my writing derives from the deepest feelings within me, and these days I just so happen to be smitten.
Now yes, It’s time to address that picture. I got a tattoo! [Insert your shocked faces here] It’s something that I’ve wanted for a long long time, and I figured well, there’s no time like the present. Right?
If you know my story you know I grew up with an absent father. You know we moved around, all the time. I talk about it quite a bit, because I’ve chosen to allow my circumstances mold me into a better version on myself. Sometimes I think about who I could have become, and how I could have given up hope so easily. How I could continue to be angry with someone who is no longer in my life. I could be a not so nice person, and have the perfect excuse. But then, I would never be happy.. I am so thankful for my mother’s prayers, and God’s protection over my sister’s and I. I am also incredibly grateful for my loving husband and his family who have taught me that love can last forever.
I still don’t know where our future will lead us. I’ve felt like a wanderer for a long time. That is why I’ve had an obsession with compasses, because I’ve always felt like I lacked direction. About a year ago I had the idea to get a tattoo of a compass and then I thought maybe I’d like to incorporate Brandon in there somehow. Since wherever he is now, is my home. And then I got a lot of slack for having anything on my body that had to do with someone else. Because “You never know what could happen.” STOP. My heart was broken. My throat sank to my stomach, not for fear of separation from my husband but for the world. Do we live in a world now where things are so disposable? That one day you are bound to fall out of love with your spouse, or they will do something unforgivable or worse, you will. It’s only a matter of time. It breaks my heart I tell you. Marriages are meant to last. Otherwise what’s the point of vows?
I am someone who had built solid walls around myself to guard all my vulnerability, all my love, everything. And then Brandon came along with a sledgehammer and tore it all down. And there I stood with God whispering in my ear that it was ok, and I didn’t have to fear abandonment anymore. That love can last forever with Him in the center.
I found it so easy to have something permanent etched into my skin that had to do with B. I asked the artist to place our anniversary date at the North of the compass. As he did it, it was of course painful, but it was also more relieving than I could ever try to explain to you. It’s a constant reminder that love can be permanent. That marriage can last until the end of your days. And then of course I get the whole “What if Brandon stops breathing tomorrow!?” If Brandon stopped breathing tomorrow he will continue to be a huge part of my life would he not? He would continue to be the one who taught me to face my fear.. So there. That’s my confession for the day. Now say what you will…
This tattoo was done by Jordan Mitchell, at Black & Blue tattoo in San Francisco, CA. You can follow his work here. I’d highly recommend him, if you’re ever out that way.
By Natalie
Oh Santa Barbara, you had me at your tremendous amount of palm trees.
After visiting family for the weekend B and I took a rather long road trip from Yuba City to Los Angeles. A total of about 11 hrs. I think.. I lost track after about 8. The drive of course made for an exhausting travel but I found myself incredibly grateful to be able to spend so much quality time with my wonderful husband.
Vacation, and most especially road trips provide us with the opportunity, yes opportunity of being stuck in each other’s presence. Forced to get to know one another better. I do love getting to know my best friend better. We drove along the California coast in order to get our best views of the Pacific. And it was grand.. Here’s some photos of our stop in Santa Barbara, where we consumed to freshest, most delicious fish and chips of the whole trip.
You’ve out done yourself Santa Barbara. Our time was too short with you.
And this is what happens when you tell a B that you wish to take a picture of him under a palm tree.
By Natalie
Vacation is over. I know, it stinks. But we really can’t complain because we had the most beautiful time. I still have stories to tell on our adventures. But for now I have to say that on this trip I fell once again in love with Brandon. I like to believe that the greatest parts of marriage are those moments when you fall over and over in love with each other. I can’t believe we got to spend so much time together this past week. We’re absolutely smitten. Pardon us.
My dearest B,
Spending 10 straight days in your company has been perfect. We’ve had the opportunity to relax, and enjoy beautiful scenery together. We were granted the time to sleep in, and enjoy a Friday morning breakfast we’ll never forget looking out onto the streets of San Francisco. I couldn’t remember the last time I was able to savor my coffee, and listen to your heart. Your wonderful, loving heart. I can’t explain just how exciting it is to discuss our future together. I love listening to your dreams for us. I love encouraging your passions, and most of all I love being the one you have chosen to spend your life with. I will always support and love you. Because you have been an excellent leader in our home. I see how every step you have taken has been to better serve God, me, and to allow for a bright future. I’m honored to be Mrs. Brandon Taylor Poe. Take me, I’m yours. Thank you for being a man that I can trust when I knew none. Thank you for working so hard to treat us. Thank you for being mine. Thank you for being you.
I love you my B,
xoxoBy Natalie
Riding on the trolly with Laura. Grandparents may or may not have been left careening downward on that fast moving trolly. Don’t worry, we were sure to leave them with light saber Jesus.
Exactly. What on earth, why was this random picture on the trolly?
we may have been terribly split up from the rest of the family but it’s alright because as Laura so perfectly described it, this experience was like a weird dream. Unexpectedly split up into several different groups, and then there was the three of us, walking around Chinatown with Dad and Natalie.
We did however take the time on our quest to regroup to see fun places like this building.
And then it just kind of hits you all at once. Woah I’m across the country! I’m in San Francisco.
And then you see things that remind you of your pup at home.
But trust me Bingley is having a grand old time. I know, because we’ve been receiving pictures like these.. Playtime with his best bud Jack.
By Natalie
On Thursday we waved goodbye to Virginia, who unfortunately is still married to humidity, and we traveled all the way to California to get away from it all. To take a break from the work week. A rest from the hustle and bustle of life. A time to rejuvenate ourselves, and enjoy experiences together. Leaving our crazy ball of energy labrador in the most trusting hands of a good friend. That was the only hard part.
Saving, and planning for a vacation may not ever be the most fun thing to do, but it’s definitely worth it in the end. We’re the type of people that would rather sacrifice the day to day pleasures, and conveniences, like cable, a huge house in the suburbs, and a car for each of us, to be able to save for experiences. I would highly recommend such a lifestyle.
Because travel does the heart and mind good.
Waking up extra early to go to the airport isn’t always the most fun, but when you find that you and your father in law are twinsies, and you’ve hardly slept from the excitement of packing, it kind of makes it all better.
I love love love flying. I have to say though, while once flying standby may have tainted that particular experience, it has not quite tainted my love of airports, and all the cultures they bring together. I still get anxious when I fly, like most people. Claustrophobic, oddly hungry, and worst of all for the window seat, a bad case of the nervous pee’s. But! It hasn’t shied me away from traveling yet, because when I travel I feel refreshed, creative, and at my most loving, and observant state. Which as a writer is of the utmost import!
For now I’ll leave you with just a little something.
And surprise! It’s a sleepy Brandon. He is the greatest. He worked so very hard to get us out on this vacation, and planned every little piece of it. I promise you, I couldn’t appreciate him more.
Stay tuned for more on our trip! Love, The PoesBy Natalie
Today I miss you.
Most days I miss you.
The sweet dog smell that I loved to take in for the first time in my life. I miss our cuddles. I miss how you laid behind me while I cooked. I miss how happy you would get when we’d come home. I miss your sweet low groans when you’d get excited about something.
I loved watching you play. I loved rescuing you. I loved giving you a home. I loved the feeling of attachment I had with you. But it made it so much harder. I can’t explain to you the traumatizing emotions I felt when I had to see you in the shelter after you were taken away. Dozens of dogs barked constantly around you. Volunteers screaming behind closed doors. And there you sat in your own filth because who has the time to take out a dog who’s on death row? I want to forget the nightmare. I want to ignore that they never gave you the toys I left. I want to forget how you whined in confusion while you watched me walk away.
But I never want to forget the last time I held you. In that small little room, just the three of us, and with tears in my eyes I tried my best to apologize to you.
I am so sorry my Samson. Sorry I couldn’t give you a better life. Sorry the opinions of people hold so much value. But thanks sweet boy, for being such a joy to me while I had you. For teaching Brandon and I to grow closer together through it all. For showing us who true friends are. And simply for being the light in my life that you were.
By Natalie
I’ve talked about the magic of the grill before. If you don’t have one, I’m telling you, you need one! Our grill has saved us from so many hungry disputes. I don’t know about you, but when I’m hungry, I’m not happy. And the grill puts food in our bellies quickly. Get outside! Let your man grill for you. Who can pass up, a man who’s happy to cook with his ridiculously large grilling utensils, less for you to prepare, and less dishes. What are you waiting for? It’s fabulous.
Foil Dinners- Here’s my favorite foil dinner recipe.
Steak- Recently we’ve been purchasing tenderloins fresh from Wegmans, and they’ve been more than perfect. B seasons them with Molasses Bacon, and leaves them on the grill until they’re about medium the way we like them. But of course, any meat thermometer will tell you a safe temp. if you’re worried.
Burgers and hotdogs- We prepare our own burgers with ground beef mixed with Molasses Bacon seasoning, and a hamburger seasoning. Then form them into patties. Serve with onion, tomato, lettuce, and cheese. Toss on grill until cooked to your liking.
Make your own pizza- We use a ready made dough from Wegmans, and add a little bit of spaghetti sauce to the center. Sprinkle a generous amount of Mozzarella cheese, and add whatever toppings you’d like from there. We’ve done Pepperoni, sausage, basil, & tomato. Toss on the grill for about 5 min, until the cheese has melted.
Beef Shish Kabobs- We’ve prepared our own shish kabobs with sliced beef or chicken and veggies. But we’ve also grilled the already prepared ones from Wegmans and they’re delicious.
Cedar Plank Salmon- Seasoned with garlic salt, olive oil, and meat magic seasoning. B has been grilling these on cedar planks which can be found in most grocery stores near the grilling materials.
Asparagus-I actually didn’t even like asparagus, until I tried it grilled. Prepare with light olive oil and salt.
Corn with Husk- Pull husks down. Rinse corn. Sprinkle with salt. Pull husks back up. Toss onto grill for about 10 minutes.
Peppers & Onions- We’ve grilled these while on shish kabobs.
Your pup is sure to beg for some smokey goodness.
By Natalie
Step One: Cut out a circle of fabric that measures about twice as large as your lid. Extra fabric can be cut if necessary. You don’t want to be left with too little fabric. Step Two: Place a ball of fluff on your fabric, and press the mason jar lid to it. Use a little more than you would think necessary. You want a fluffy top.
Step Three: Squeeze hot glue onto the rubber part of the lid, and press fabric onto the hot glue. If you feel like you need to add more fluff this is your last chance. When there’s a small opening like the picture shown below you can stuff more fluff in before you seal the circle.
Step Four: Place lid on top of mason jar and screw the second lid over it. Because of the hot glue and the fabric the lid will not screw on all the way down, but it should still be able to close.
Step Five. Add any decorative things you’d like on the outside. Place push pins in the top, and any sewing materials you’d like on the bottom. Such as bobbins, buttons, pins, measuring tape, etc.
I made these as gifts for Mother’s Day, So I tossed a long piece of lace and buttons in the jars for looks.